This afternoon my darling B. was gazing at the shelf devoted to my trophies in our living room.
"You know who you are?" he asked me as he massaged my legs.
"Who?" I asked, expecting him to tell me that I was his angel.
"You're like Cobra Kai."
"From Karate Kid? The evil dojo?" This wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
"Yes," he explained. "You walk into the dojo and there are trophies everywhere. They dominate the competition. No one can beat them. They're tougher than anyone."
I started to like what he was saying. I even kind of look like a female version of Johnny, the star of Cobra Kai. And you know what? I may even be willing to sweep a leg once in a while. Not that I would ever cheat. But there are ways to psyche out the competition:
- Wear fierce sunglasses
- Casually mention how many hill repeats you did earlier
- Yawn as you pass your nemesis going up hill
- Say to your competitor "Man, it's hot out here"
- Never ever breathe heavily as you pass someone (I almost never have to anyway)
As soon as I see a coach as good as Mr. Miyagi, I'll start looking behind my back for Ralph Macchio on a bike. Until then, I'll strike first, strike hard, NO MERCY!
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