Just because I won my Half Ironman last week is no excuse for me to rest on my laurels. So today I went out for a ride on 9W. 9W can be a grind, but the fun part of riding there is that all the reindeer come out to play - bike teams, cycling clubs, triathletes, recumbent riders, and even a few decent mountain bikers all enjoy the wide shoulders and rolling hills. I like to ride up from Brooklyn as a warm-up (why sit on a train when you can exercise?) so I can really push the big ring once I hit the Jersey pavement.
Today I arrived about 9, just in time to see a few other triathlon "teams" (as if such a concept would really work in an individual sport!) gathering to ride. I gave the TriLife and Terrier Tri fools my best cold stare and took off quick so they'd see that they'd better not mess with me. I knew they were all jealous of my sick bike and awesome new outfit (I decided to show off my new trikini - why save it just for racing?).
On my way home I got passed by a few guys on a bike team going about 25 mph in a "paceline." I don't like getting passed, so I jumped on the back. I stayed in aero to make sure I could exert the least amount of energy possible. We were cruising down 9W - WEEEE! Passing all the bento-box carrying, yellow jersey wearing "roadies." When I had had enough of taking it easy I decided to kick things up a notch and make these guys chase me. I stealthily pulled out from behind without saying a word when the shoulder narrowed. HA! That sure scared them. The guy in front of me called out "Whoah!" I thought roadies were supposed to have good bike handling skills. Staying in aero I powered up to the front and gave the leader my best intimidating stare. I thought I heard him say "Let her go!" to his friends. Usually men can't handle being beaten by a woman, but it seemed like I finally met a few guys who had the egos to admit they were no match for TRIGAL.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Bad Attitude
Last night as I was doing my typical 3 hour Thursday night ride in the park, I chatted with a local aspiring triathlete and had the opportunity to give her some advice, which I'll share with you now.
This girl, we'll call her Missy, had to leave the park at 8 to have dinner. I tried to convince her to keep riding until sunset, since the more hours you can get on the bike the better, and Missy certainly needs it! (Normally I would be too fast for Missy, but I was on a recovery lap between intervals and she was going hard, so our paces matched). But Missy "had" to leave, because her significant other was expecting to go out to dinner at 8:30. It's our "date-iversary," Missy explained - they'd been seeing each other for 8 months.
Look, it's that kind of attitude that separates the E.V.O.O. from the vinegar. I'm like freshly pressed bright green olive oil - fragrant, high quality, and expensive - because I don't let my romantic life interfere with my training. But Missy, with the mindset of "make time for my relationship" is like old stinky wine. I have found a companion who exists to support ME. Missy will always be an age-grouper if she continues with the talk of "leave the park for dinner because my S.O. is waiting for me."
You gotta live for yourself. Your S.O. certainly isn't going to do it for you!
This girl, we'll call her Missy, had to leave the park at 8 to have dinner. I tried to convince her to keep riding until sunset, since the more hours you can get on the bike the better, and Missy certainly needs it! (Normally I would be too fast for Missy, but I was on a recovery lap between intervals and she was going hard, so our paces matched). But Missy "had" to leave, because her significant other was expecting to go out to dinner at 8:30. It's our "date-iversary," Missy explained - they'd been seeing each other for 8 months.
Look, it's that kind of attitude that separates the E.V.O.O. from the vinegar. I'm like freshly pressed bright green olive oil - fragrant, high quality, and expensive - because I don't let my romantic life interfere with my training. But Missy, with the mindset of "make time for my relationship" is like old stinky wine. I have found a companion who exists to support ME. Missy will always be an age-grouper if she continues with the talk of "leave the park for dinner because my S.O. is waiting for me."
You gotta live for yourself. Your S.O. certainly isn't going to do it for you!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Wednesday Warrior
Introducing a new feature here on my blog... The Wednesday Warrior! This award goes to an inspirational athlete, someone we can all admire. Today's award goes to (drum roll please)...
Joey Chestnut! Of California. Mr. Chestnut recently broke the world record held by Nippon phenom Takeru Kobayashi. Kobayashi dominated the IFOCE for years. He was the Lance Armstrong of his field. And yet before he could retire with his winning streak intact, this American upstart comes along and slaughters his record. Way to go Mr. Chestnut!
Stay tuned. Mr. Chestnut and Kobayashi will have a showdown on July 4th at Coney Island. It promises to be the battle of the 21st Century. Too bad Eric "Badlands" Booker has retired from the sport, or this could have been a banner year for the United States.
Congratulations, Mr. Chestnut. You have the stomach of a champion. Intense training and preparation clearly went into your success. Jaw strength and agility like yours come along once in a lifetime. I am sending some zen warrior waves your way. Go USA!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
First name Mr, middle name 'period', last name T!
Hey suckas! I pity the fool who is a hatah. Mostly, I pity the fool who brings so much negativity into the world (ahem, commentators, cough). Like Mr. T., I'm going to have to teach these suckas a lesson. But since I practice the ways of a zen warrior, I won't teach these fools any lessons with my fists. I will teach them a lesson with my powerful warrior legs.
Well, obviously some people need more fashion lessons. Mr. T delivers.
Hatahs, eat your hearts out WHEN I SCHOOL YOU IN MY NEXT RACE.
Well, obviously some people need more fashion lessons. Mr. T delivers.
Monday, June 4, 2007
The Victorious Warrior
Sunday I competed in a local Half Ironman. Unfortunately due to trouble finding my race wheels, we arrived at the race site only 30 minutes before the race was scheduled to start, so I didn’t have much of a chance to warm-up. This probably cost me the edge I required to win the overall race.
As I was setting up my transition area, my nemesis L. said hello. I noticed her eyes were really red and she was sneazing. “Yeah, I forgot to take my allergy pills this morning,” she explained, offering a convenient excise for why she might not beat me today. This just shows what a numbskull L. is, forgetting an essential part of her morning routine out of nerves on a big race day. Luckily, I was around to offer her my stash of “non-drowsy” pills. I had brought a couple of pills – some Claritin and some Benadryl for after the race in case I got stung by a bee. The Benadryl was just regular formula because after a race I don’t have to worry about falling asleep. I gave her one of the pink pills – I’m really not sure whether it was Benadryl or Claritin because they were in the same baggy.
“I’m sure these are non-drowsy, right? Ha ha ha.” she laughed. “Don’t worry,” I assured her, “I brought non-drowsy pills.” Hey, she had a 50-50 shot at getting non-drowsy! Better than being bleary-eyed the entire race. Anyway, I’m sure the pills helped her, as she got second in our age group.
The swim was crystal clear and placid. At the start I got behind a girl who tried to lose me and I swear even kicked me in the face. So I grabbed her foot, pulled her down, and swam over her in one swift move. That’ll teach her to be a beeyatch again!
Though L. beat me out of the swim (she wore shaded swim goggles so the sun wasn’t in her eyes for sighting – a real problem for me on the way back), but I clobbered her on the bike. As I rode by her I was a good sport and called out “Good job!” L. usually beats me on the bike, so I knew my double secret sandbike training had paid off. I also blew by a ton of men. It’s hysterical when you pass a guy on the bike. Their fragile egos just can’t handle it! So then they blow themselves up trying to keep up with me. One guy was standing up hammering away while we were going downhill!
The only problem that occurred on the bike came at the bottle exchange. I tried to grab a bottle from a volunteer while maintaining an 18 mph pace (something I’ve practiced with Supersoulmate B.) but I dropped it. So I had to ride for 56 miles on just 1 aero bottle of water. Good thing I practice deprivation training so this wasn’t a big deal for me.
Coming into T2 I expertly already had my feet out of my bike shoes while I was still riding and was able to quickly zip into my running flats. Despite some major hip and calf cramps, I held steady on the half marathon run. I am proud to say that no woman in my age group passed me on the run. Clearly the volunteers in this race were a weak spot in the race organization. At mile 4 I was pretty thirsty and grabbed a water that absolutely soured in my mouth. “This water tastes like ASS!” I yelled at the volunteer. What did that guy do to the water? Pee in it? I admit I lost a few valuable seconds scolding the volunteer and educating him on proper management of a water stand.
When I blasted through the finish line and landed in Supersoulmate B’s arms, he was tearing up. “You won! You won!” He kept repeating. I was confused because I saw other women who had raced standing around at the finish wearing mylar blankets and eating bananas. Did they quit? “You won your age group!” he told me. Oh well, better that than nothing – many people would be satisfied with such a victory. It was clear that my intense training and warrior mentally have made me better and have given me the edge. Look out pros! Trigal is coming to get you!!
Upon reflection on this race, I have to say that it's nice when I can vanquish my competition without having to resort to gimmicks and cheats. I won the age group fair and square. The rest of you should do what I do. Looking out for number one and training hard is what works. Being dependant on others on race day is not what a warrior would do.
As Tarvold from Viking Quest would say “VICTORY!!!”
As I was setting up my transition area, my nemesis L. said hello. I noticed her eyes were really red and she was sneazing. “Yeah, I forgot to take my allergy pills this morning,” she explained, offering a convenient excise for why she might not beat me today. This just shows what a numbskull L. is, forgetting an essential part of her morning routine out of nerves on a big race day. Luckily, I was around to offer her my stash of “non-drowsy” pills. I had brought a couple of pills – some Claritin and some Benadryl for after the race in case I got stung by a bee. The Benadryl was just regular formula because after a race I don’t have to worry about falling asleep. I gave her one of the pink pills – I’m really not sure whether it was Benadryl or Claritin because they were in the same baggy.
“I’m sure these are non-drowsy, right? Ha ha ha.” she laughed. “Don’t worry,” I assured her, “I brought non-drowsy pills.” Hey, she had a 50-50 shot at getting non-drowsy! Better than being bleary-eyed the entire race. Anyway, I’m sure the pills helped her, as she got second in our age group.
The swim was crystal clear and placid. At the start I got behind a girl who tried to lose me and I swear even kicked me in the face. So I grabbed her foot, pulled her down, and swam over her in one swift move. That’ll teach her to be a beeyatch again!
Though L. beat me out of the swim (she wore shaded swim goggles so the sun wasn’t in her eyes for sighting – a real problem for me on the way back), but I clobbered her on the bike. As I rode by her I was a good sport and called out “Good job!” L. usually beats me on the bike, so I knew my double secret sandbike training had paid off. I also blew by a ton of men. It’s hysterical when you pass a guy on the bike. Their fragile egos just can’t handle it! So then they blow themselves up trying to keep up with me. One guy was standing up hammering away while we were going downhill!
The only problem that occurred on the bike came at the bottle exchange. I tried to grab a bottle from a volunteer while maintaining an 18 mph pace (something I’ve practiced with Supersoulmate B.) but I dropped it. So I had to ride for 56 miles on just 1 aero bottle of water. Good thing I practice deprivation training so this wasn’t a big deal for me.
Coming into T2 I expertly already had my feet out of my bike shoes while I was still riding and was able to quickly zip into my running flats. Despite some major hip and calf cramps, I held steady on the half marathon run. I am proud to say that no woman in my age group passed me on the run. Clearly the volunteers in this race were a weak spot in the race organization. At mile 4 I was pretty thirsty and grabbed a water that absolutely soured in my mouth. “This water tastes like ASS!” I yelled at the volunteer. What did that guy do to the water? Pee in it? I admit I lost a few valuable seconds scolding the volunteer and educating him on proper management of a water stand.
When I blasted through the finish line and landed in Supersoulmate B’s arms, he was tearing up. “You won! You won!” He kept repeating. I was confused because I saw other women who had raced standing around at the finish wearing mylar blankets and eating bananas. Did they quit? “You won your age group!” he told me. Oh well, better that than nothing – many people would be satisfied with such a victory. It was clear that my intense training and warrior mentally have made me better and have given me the edge. Look out pros! Trigal is coming to get you!!
Upon reflection on this race, I have to say that it's nice when I can vanquish my competition without having to resort to gimmicks and cheats. I won the age group fair and square. The rest of you should do what I do. Looking out for number one and training hard is what works. Being dependant on others on race day is not what a warrior would do.
As Tarvold from Viking Quest would say “VICTORY!!!”
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Secrets of Race Success Revealed
Before a big race I like to devote the entire preceding day to RACE FOCUS. This includes my special "patented" pre-race workout, a massage from Supersoulmate B. after a long hot tub and steam bath, and of course, consuming ideal pre-race foods.
First, for the pre-race workout. The key with exercise the day before a race is to really get the blood pumping into your muscles. I like to begin with a short 30 minute swim. After a 400 warm-up, with each 100 getting gradually faster, I do the following: 5x200 at threshold pace, 10x100 as hard as possible, with 30 seconds rest. This short swim will prime your lats.
To make transition as short as possible, I bring my trainer to the pool locker room and have my bike set up there. Luckily, at my gym there's not a lot of supervision in the locker room - just a bunch of Mexican maids cleaning toilets - so I can do another 45 minutes on the bike right inside the bathroom with no interruptions. I also like the steamy environment created by the locker room - really helps you be ready for anything in terms of heat in a race. On the trainer I ignore a warm-up because I'm already warm from swimming. So I blast right into a series that replicates my swim: 3x10 minutes at threshold pace, with 1 minute rest in between, then 5 x 5 minutes at max, 1 minute rest in between. Now for the run. To take care of my bike so that I can focus on my brick, Supersoulmate B. sneaks into the ladies room (in a trench coat and pumps he can totally pass for a middle aged lady!) to remove the Black Ninja and trainer. (He carries it out through a backdoor we discovered because we're pretty sure the gym manager would find my bathroom behavior to be some kind of liability).
Then I do an 8 mile run, running 6 miles at 5k pace, and an easy 2 mile cool down. Now I'm totally primed for my day. I'll go back to the gym in about an hour to enjoy a hot tub and sauna to really relax my muscles for tomorrow. Oh yeah, and the secret to race success is to really deprive yourself of fluids the day before. That way you're used to dehydration in the race. Good luck to all of you competing against me tomorrow! SUCKAHS!
First, for the pre-race workout. The key with exercise the day before a race is to really get the blood pumping into your muscles. I like to begin with a short 30 minute swim. After a 400 warm-up, with each 100 getting gradually faster, I do the following: 5x200 at threshold pace, 10x100 as hard as possible, with 30 seconds rest. This short swim will prime your lats.
To make transition as short as possible, I bring my trainer to the pool locker room and have my bike set up there. Luckily, at my gym there's not a lot of supervision in the locker room - just a bunch of Mexican maids cleaning toilets - so I can do another 45 minutes on the bike right inside the bathroom with no interruptions. I also like the steamy environment created by the locker room - really helps you be ready for anything in terms of heat in a race. On the trainer I ignore a warm-up because I'm already warm from swimming. So I blast right into a series that replicates my swim: 3x10 minutes at threshold pace, with 1 minute rest in between, then 5 x 5 minutes at max, 1 minute rest in between. Now for the run. To take care of my bike so that I can focus on my brick, Supersoulmate B. sneaks into the ladies room (in a trench coat and pumps he can totally pass for a middle aged lady!) to remove the Black Ninja and trainer. (He carries it out through a backdoor we discovered because we're pretty sure the gym manager would find my bathroom behavior to be some kind of liability).
Then I do an 8 mile run, running 6 miles at 5k pace, and an easy 2 mile cool down. Now I'm totally primed for my day. I'll go back to the gym in about an hour to enjoy a hot tub and sauna to really relax my muscles for tomorrow. Oh yeah, and the secret to race success is to really deprive yourself of fluids the day before. That way you're used to dehydration in the race. Good luck to all of you competing against me tomorrow! SUCKAHS!
Friday, June 1, 2007
Smokin!
After a grueling week of training to prepare for my half ironman on Sunday, I decided I deserved a treat. No, not a slice of cherry cheesecake. But something very girlie. A new outfit! Since I'm not 30 yet, I decided to go for it and get a trikini. Sayonara farmer tan! Hello Hawaiian Tropic! I predict I will cause men to blow themselves up when they try to follow me in my new black racing bikini (black to match my bike!). The briefs really show off my powerful legs. I admit that I came very close to getting the Brazilian briefs, but then I found out that they don't have a chamois and aren't practical for training.
One big problem with triathlons is that a lot of tri outfits aren't flattering to women. Granted, many pros look like men anyway, so it doesn't matter. And the other half of female triathletes are fat or at least have huge dimpled thighs. I've found that trisuits are built to flatter only these two body types. But for those of us with hot femme bods that we want to show off, there aren't a lot of options. Now I'm even more excited for my race on Sunday. I'd better start prepping my race bag!
One big problem with triathlons is that a lot of tri outfits aren't flattering to women. Granted, many pros look like men anyway, so it doesn't matter. And the other half of female triathletes are fat or at least have huge dimpled thighs. I've found that trisuits are built to flatter only these two body types. But for those of us with hot femme bods that we want to show off, there aren't a lot of options. Now I'm even more excited for my race on Sunday. I'd better start prepping my race bag!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Checking in
I've been so busy training this week I haven't had time to post! Stay tuned! I will fill you in on all the amazing details of my crazy week latah!
Monday, May 28, 2007
Vroom
With a long race coming up this weekend I need to focus on speed training this week. So yesterday I headed to the track to bang out some fast run splits. I left my parachute at home, but brought my sauna suit, even though the temperature was in the 80s. The best way to acclimate to a hot race is to make your training even hotter. Plus, the sauna suit helps you burn more calories, and taking off a few extra pounds before a race is always a good thing - lighter equals faster! I also like to practice exercising with limited amounts of water, because the less water you can carry on the bike, the lighter you'll be! I have trained my body to require only one bottle for a three hour ride.
Some details about my speed intervals. As I'm sure you know, speedwork improves your pace per mile by about 30 seconds. First I warm up for two miles. Then I do 4x500 at my 5k pace. That primes me for a series of 8 fast 200s - all out as hard as I can go. Now it's back to 400s faster than 5k pace. I do 16 of these. I always do a light 200 in between each 400 as a recovery. Finally I end with a mile cooldown. I don't recommend going out and hammering out 5+ miles of speedwork. You have to build up to it. I have worked for years to improve my speed and endurance, and most people don't have the excellent ability to recover quickly that I do.
You've probably already figured out that I'm the fastest person at the track. In fact, I often get asked whether or not I am a professional athlete. "You seem so serious!" strangers tell me. Ha! That's called FOCUS suckas. Most people don't have it. Mental toughness is what this game is all about. And if you think this workout is easy, you should see the inside of my sauna suit when I'm finished.
Some details about my speed intervals. As I'm sure you know, speedwork improves your pace per mile by about 30 seconds. First I warm up for two miles. Then I do 4x500 at my 5k pace. That primes me for a series of 8 fast 200s - all out as hard as I can go. Now it's back to 400s faster than 5k pace. I do 16 of these. I always do a light 200 in between each 400 as a recovery. Finally I end with a mile cooldown. I don't recommend going out and hammering out 5+ miles of speedwork. You have to build up to it. I have worked for years to improve my speed and endurance, and most people don't have the excellent ability to recover quickly that I do.
You've probably already figured out that I'm the fastest person at the track. In fact, I often get asked whether or not I am a professional athlete. "You seem so serious!" strangers tell me. Ha! That's called FOCUS suckas. Most people don't have it. Mental toughness is what this game is all about. And if you think this workout is easy, you should see the inside of my sauna suit when I'm finished.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Sandyman
Took my Sandbike to Harriman today for a few loops. What a great investment that bike was! After five 14 mile loops (I ran the last loop of course) my legs are going to be primed for my Half Ironman next weekend. Thanks to my Sandbike, it wasn't just an average day in Harriman. It was actually a little difficult for me to get up those hills on my fourth loop. I couldn't stay in my big chain ring as I usually do. Ha! I guess this is was age groupers feel like. (As someone who usually podiums in my races, I can't really consider myself an age grouper).
I even saw some people from my neighborhood out on the course, struggling to get up the hills, of course. As I passed them they asked (between gasping breaths) where my usual beautiful bike the Black Ninja was. I told them the truth - that it was in the shop getting tuned for next weekend's big race. I also told them about my Sandbike (I guess they didn't read that entry on my blog) to explain why I was a little bit slower than usual. I don't want those losers to think that they can normally keep up with me. I mean, this one guy, A., he could almost ride with me on the uphills but I blew him out on the downhills. That's what happens when you have 35 pounds of steel between your legs, baby!
After my 14 mile run I took a cooling dip in Lake Sebago. The lake was officially closed, but I said EFF THAT! and dove in to swim a few miles. Some portly park worker was yelling at me when I emerged, saying she had called the park rangers to arrest me or some bee-ess. I just ignored her and got in my car and drove home. Sometimes you've got to take your warrior mentality to the MAX! And sometimes warriors have to break "the law."
I even saw some people from my neighborhood out on the course, struggling to get up the hills, of course. As I passed them they asked (between gasping breaths) where my usual beautiful bike the Black Ninja was. I told them the truth - that it was in the shop getting tuned for next weekend's big race. I also told them about my Sandbike (I guess they didn't read that entry on my blog) to explain why I was a little bit slower than usual. I don't want those losers to think that they can normally keep up with me. I mean, this one guy, A., he could almost ride with me on the uphills but I blew him out on the downhills. That's what happens when you have 35 pounds of steel between your legs, baby!
After my 14 mile run I took a cooling dip in Lake Sebago. The lake was officially closed, but I said EFF THAT! and dove in to swim a few miles. Some portly park worker was yelling at me when I emerged, saying she had called the park rangers to arrest me or some bee-ess. I just ignored her and got in my car and drove home. Sometimes you've got to take your warrior mentality to the MAX! And sometimes warriors have to break "the law."
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Greener Grass
This morning I saw C. riding in the park. His significant other, who usually trains with him side-by-side, was nowhere to be seen. Unusual, but not an unhappy situation. C.'s S.O., let's call her "Sarah", really hogs everyone's attention. I give her props, because she's a fast runner and trains almost as hard as I do. But come on! We don't need to hear all about YOU all the time. Leave some oxygen in the room for the rest of us. Jeez Louise. Oh, so you got a new couch. Oh, so you went to a "cool, hip" concert (while I was busy training, ahem). Oh you just went on an amazing trip. Yay for you. Oh you have an amazing boyfriend who you train with all the time (except this morning - trouble in paradise?). Goody.
But this morning I had C. all to myself. We talked about training and the conditions of River Road, favorite places to ride, random stuff like that. C. never complained about Sarah, but I could tell he wanted to confide something in me. I could tell that there was a real reason for why Sarah wasn't out by his side training. He did mention something about her getting fitted for a wedding dress or something, but I didn't really catch it. Maybe he said she was out buying new bedding?
The thing I really like about C. is that he can keep up with me. A lot of guys can't. I finally convinced Supersoulmate B. to get a bike last year. That was a disaster! I learned that some people are just meant for the sidelines. Supersoulmate B. says it's good he wasn't born with the "competitive gene"-- as he calls it -- that I have. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to focus on supporting me at races, having ice packs ready when I get home, preparing my favorite pre-race meals while I rest my legs. It's probably true that Sarah doesn't get that from C. They both have to work together when they're tired from a long workout. I know that I can just come home, give Supersoulmate B. my bike and chow down on a nourishing lunch that he's prepared while I'm taking the ice bath he has ready for me. I guess I'm lucky, but it would be nice to have a built-in training partner. (And it would be nice to come home to a washboard stomach, but that's another story!).
But this morning I had C. all to myself. We talked about training and the conditions of River Road, favorite places to ride, random stuff like that. C. never complained about Sarah, but I could tell he wanted to confide something in me. I could tell that there was a real reason for why Sarah wasn't out by his side training. He did mention something about her getting fitted for a wedding dress or something, but I didn't really catch it. Maybe he said she was out buying new bedding?
The thing I really like about C. is that he can keep up with me. A lot of guys can't. I finally convinced Supersoulmate B. to get a bike last year. That was a disaster! I learned that some people are just meant for the sidelines. Supersoulmate B. says it's good he wasn't born with the "competitive gene"-- as he calls it -- that I have. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to focus on supporting me at races, having ice packs ready when I get home, preparing my favorite pre-race meals while I rest my legs. It's probably true that Sarah doesn't get that from C. They both have to work together when they're tired from a long workout. I know that I can just come home, give Supersoulmate B. my bike and chow down on a nourishing lunch that he's prepared while I'm taking the ice bath he has ready for me. I guess I'm lucky, but it would be nice to have a built-in training partner. (And it would be nice to come home to a washboard stomach, but that's another story!).
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Swim Tips
Triathletes are legendary for being slow swimmers. That's why I'm sharing some of my favorite drills for improving swim speed.
*Count your kicks per 25. Now reduce your kicks by one stroke for each succeeding length.
*Hold your breath. Don't stop holding your breath. Breathing just slows you down.
*Remember, snorkels are legal in most triathlons
*Get two 25 lb. dumbells and bring them to the edge of the pool. Now do 3x20 sets of military presses. Jump in the pool and swim, bitch, swim! This will teach you to push through the pain in your shoulders.
*Go to Home Depot. Get 6 bricks. Put them in an Ikea bag, one of those big yellow or blue shopping bags - the ones that are so big they could hold a house. Now tie the straps of the bag to your legs and swim 400 like your life depends on it. Because it does.
*Count your kicks per 25. Now reduce your kicks by one stroke for each succeeding length.
*Hold your breath. Don't stop holding your breath. Breathing just slows you down.
*Remember, snorkels are legal in most triathlons
*Get two 25 lb. dumbells and bring them to the edge of the pool. Now do 3x20 sets of military presses. Jump in the pool and swim, bitch, swim! This will teach you to push through the pain in your shoulders.
*Go to Home Depot. Get 6 bricks. Put them in an Ikea bag, one of those big yellow or blue shopping bags - the ones that are so big they could hold a house. Now tie the straps of the bag to your legs and swim 400 like your life depends on it. Because it does.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Haterade
I have to put up with a lot of grief from other triathletes. Just look at the trolls commenting on this site. Even in "real life" there's always some beeyatch trying to psyche me out at a race. Other women love to play mental games - it's such a bitchy girl thing to do. I've never understood why all women can't just say "Hey, we have GIRL POWER! We're on the same team. Let's be friends." Instead I hear them making catty remarks behind my back -- pure jealousy! I see them staring at me, acting like what I'm wearing isn't cool enough for those fashion plates. They spread some horrible rumors too. Like the other day at the pool, girls were gossiping about me in the showers. I knew it was happening because I heard them whispering about cheating and then they totally stopped talking when I came into the shower room. There's another rumor about me using EPO! Not that anyone would know, since age groupers aren't tested, but come on! How would I even get EPO? I can barely afford all the Advil I have to consume to maintain my training regimen! Thank goodness my friend A. keeps me up to date on what everyone says behind my back. Just try to keep your secrets from me, C-Nuts!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Karmaman
I traveled south today to participate in a flat, fast tri – my first local tri of the year. Fortunately, yesterday’s storms cleared up and it was a good day for racing. I got to the race with only 20 minutes to spare (effing traffic!) so I had to forsake my usual warm-up and simply briefly warm-up in the water. Man was it cold! Like the kind of cold that sucks the air from your lungs. That’s why pre-swimming was so important. On my warm-up swim I like to throw in a few butterfly strokes to intimidate the competition. Most triathletes don’t even know how to swim breast stroke, and my magnificent fly really scares the freaking carp out of any triathlete who’s the least bit intimidated by open water swimming.
Before the gun goes off I like to find the other fast swimmers and line up right behind them. It’s hard to know who will be a fast swimmer just by sight, and I’ve learned that you don’t always know by talking to people how they’ll do. Funny how other swimmers won’t disclose to you what time they swim 100 repeats on! I have learned to look at the goggles. Fast swimmers often wear Swedes. And they never wear face masks. One secret about me: I don't even wear goggles. They just drag you down.
Seems I found a good strong girl to draft off, but she really tried to shake me, zigging and zagging. I stayed on her toes and came out of the swim fresh but in good time. Running through transition to my rack I tripped and knocked over someone’s bike. Oops. I heard something pop but I picked myself up and kept booking towards my own bike. Eff it. My tire flatted once in transition. That’s karma! Sometimes your tire flats, sometimes you accidentally make someone else’s tire flat. I noticed it was a really nice titanium Lightspeed too – with that aero set-up the owner will be able to make up lost time pretty quickly.
I hammered the bike, which was nice and flat. I stayed in aero the entire time. In races shorter than a Half Ironman I don’t even bring fluids on the bike. I’m just not out there long enough to need nourishment, and anyway, fluids add extra weight. If you are as fast as I am, I suggest you copy this tip. You can always have a cup of water on the run (if you know how to pick it up and drink it without slowing down, like I do).
On the run I barely felt any of that typical “transition” feeling that comes after biking. This is because I work so much in my brick training, my legs are perfectly acclimated to running after biking. I wasn’t sure if I was the lead woman, but I certainly found lots of men to pass. I didn’t even look at my watch. I was flying. All of a sudden though, I noticed I wasn’t near anyone else. I know that there’s no way I could have beaten all of the men. Then I realized I had taken a wrong turn! Another perfect race ruined by a horrible race director and bad signage. I lost several minutes having to backtrack.
The race wasn’t a total disappointment. I came home with hardware. It turned out the owner of the Lightspeed was the girl who won the race last year. She had to drop out because she didn’t know how to fix a flat (so she claimed). I think she was too afraid to finish with a bad time. What a poor sport!
Before the gun goes off I like to find the other fast swimmers and line up right behind them. It’s hard to know who will be a fast swimmer just by sight, and I’ve learned that you don’t always know by talking to people how they’ll do. Funny how other swimmers won’t disclose to you what time they swim 100 repeats on! I have learned to look at the goggles. Fast swimmers often wear Swedes. And they never wear face masks. One secret about me: I don't even wear goggles. They just drag you down.
Seems I found a good strong girl to draft off, but she really tried to shake me, zigging and zagging. I stayed on her toes and came out of the swim fresh but in good time. Running through transition to my rack I tripped and knocked over someone’s bike. Oops. I heard something pop but I picked myself up and kept booking towards my own bike. Eff it. My tire flatted once in transition. That’s karma! Sometimes your tire flats, sometimes you accidentally make someone else’s tire flat. I noticed it was a really nice titanium Lightspeed too – with that aero set-up the owner will be able to make up lost time pretty quickly.
I hammered the bike, which was nice and flat. I stayed in aero the entire time. In races shorter than a Half Ironman I don’t even bring fluids on the bike. I’m just not out there long enough to need nourishment, and anyway, fluids add extra weight. If you are as fast as I am, I suggest you copy this tip. You can always have a cup of water on the run (if you know how to pick it up and drink it without slowing down, like I do).
On the run I barely felt any of that typical “transition” feeling that comes after biking. This is because I work so much in my brick training, my legs are perfectly acclimated to running after biking. I wasn’t sure if I was the lead woman, but I certainly found lots of men to pass. I didn’t even look at my watch. I was flying. All of a sudden though, I noticed I wasn’t near anyone else. I know that there’s no way I could have beaten all of the men. Then I realized I had taken a wrong turn! Another perfect race ruined by a horrible race director and bad signage. I lost several minutes having to backtrack.
The race wasn’t a total disappointment. I came home with hardware. It turned out the owner of the Lightspeed was the girl who won the race last year. She had to drop out because she didn’t know how to fix a flat (so she claimed). I think she was too afraid to finish with a bad time. What a poor sport!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Race Ready
This weekend I will be competing in one of the first tris of the year. This Oly distance race promises to be cold (as water temps up here in the NE haven't warmed up yet) and possibly stormy, with rain predicted for the weekend. That means good news for me, since I thrive in rain that makes other girls melt like popsicles on hot pavement. I will use the slickness of the roads to go faster. Where other frightened feebs slow down I will charge ahead. My strategy is the same strategy I always employ: GO HARD, GO OFTEN.
To prepare myself mentally tonight I am meditating. I am imagining that I am one with my bike, the Black Ninja. I hold an image of it in my mind like a first love. And I chant to myself "I AM the Black Ninja. I AM the Black Ninja. I AM a winner. I AM a WINNER."
No is just another word for don't.
To prepare myself mentally tonight I am meditating. I am imagining that I am one with my bike, the Black Ninja. I hold an image of it in my mind like a first love. And I chant to myself "I AM the Black Ninja. I AM the Black Ninja. I AM a winner. I AM a WINNER."
No is just another word for don't.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Answering questions
I'm sure some of you are wondering by now why I haven't gone pro. Truth be told, I think about it every day. I sit here and look wistfully at the offers from major sponsors that pour in on what seems to be a daily basis. But I know that by going pro my life will be turned upside down. I make a decent living right now. But going pro means giving up my cushy salary to live on what might be $25,000 in my first year. I'm just not willing to pay that price. Plus, as a pro you spend so much time trying to get sponsors that you have no time leftover after training. Supersoulmate B. has offered to support me so that I can pursue triathlon full time, but my goal has been to never rely on a man for support.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Fat Cats
How many dogs have you seen lately who can't run? You know the ones with huge bloated bellies, the ones whose "mommies" have to pick them up to get on the couch.
I can almost understand letting your dog get this fat. I mean, dogs beg with those cute little faces and you feel like you are showing your love for them by feeding them table scraps or buying them doggie brownies. But cats suffer from obesity just the same. I guess I shouldn't expect much from people who can't even keep themselves away from that third bowl of Chunky Monkey.
This relates to triathlon because many triathletes take up the sport in an attempt to lose weight. Often this works, but just as much it doesn't work all the way. I see many fat triathletes at races. Even at the Ironman you see them (fat people tend to think that they are good at long and slow). Well, good news tubbytits! I am sharing some of my weight control techniques with you. I am often complemented on my awesome bod, and more importantly, being thin shows up in race results because thin people can scientifically go faster than fat people. We have less stuff to carry!
Here are some great recipes for you to follow. Just be sure not to have seconds!
Breakfast: If I'm training first thing in the morning for 2 hours or less I don't eat. But afterwards I give myself a fabulous Protein shakes reward.
I can almost understand letting your dog get this fat. I mean, dogs beg with those cute little faces and you feel like you are showing your love for them by feeding them table scraps or buying them doggie brownies. But cats suffer from obesity just the same. I guess I shouldn't expect much from people who can't even keep themselves away from that third bowl of Chunky Monkey.
This relates to triathlon because many triathletes take up the sport in an attempt to lose weight. Often this works, but just as much it doesn't work all the way. I see many fat triathletes at races. Even at the Ironman you see them (fat people tend to think that they are good at long and slow). Well, good news tubbytits! I am sharing some of my weight control techniques with you. I am often complemented on my awesome bod, and more importantly, being thin shows up in race results because thin people can scientifically go faster than fat people. We have less stuff to carry!
Here are some great recipes for you to follow. Just be sure not to have seconds!
Breakfast: If I'm training first thing in the morning for 2 hours or less I don't eat. But afterwards I give myself a fabulous Protein shakes reward.
- 2 scoops vanilla protein powder
- 1 tbsp sugar-free instant vanilla pudding
- 1/4 tsp cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp imitation vanilla (or 1/4 tsp extract)
- 1 packet Splenda
- a few dashes butter flavor sprinkles or butter-flavor extract
- 8 oz. water or plain soymilk (use milk only if you are not trying to lose weight. Plain sugarless soymilk has less carbs than lowfat milk)
- 3-5 ice cubes
Add everything to a blender and WHIZ!
Fiber: I always drink a tasty glass of Metamucil before each meal. If this sounds gross to you, you've never tried Metamucil. It tastes like tang and has only 15 calories, yet the fiber punch it packs means that you get full quicker and don't eat as much.
No bananas: triathletes love bananas, but they will put on the pounds faster than Delta Burke at a buffet brunch. High in sugar, low in fiber, sure they digest easily. I keep away from them even during training on principle.
Oatmeal! I eat oatmeal whenever I need an easy meal. Breakfast, lunch, or especially dinner. The Quaker way is the best way. Add one or two egg whites and some Splenda. Just remember: no sugar!
Don't worry, the gas pains will subside after about 3 weeks.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
New Baby!
Today I acquired a special new tool. It's a used bike - some funky old brand that I imagine some pro using back in the 90s (Nishiki actually). Why would I need a used tri bike when I own the lightest most aero steed around? Because this is going to be my double secret probation training tool. You see, old bikes were heavier, but not heavy enough. I've taken off the seat tube and the stem and I'm going to fill the hollow part of the bike with sand. Then I'll trick it out with some clip ons and a tri-specific seat. HA! By moving the seat forward slightly I will be able to duplicate my tri position exactly. After training on that heavy stallion riding my tri bike (the Black Ninja) will feel like flying. I haven't weighed it because I need to go to the beach to get sand, but I expect it to weigh about 36.5 lbs. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Pump it up
When I recommend to other women that they try weight training to improve their tri times I am often met with the response "I don't want to bulk up." These same types think that doing yoga or Pilates is all the strength training they need. And that is exactly why I consistently beat these fools. The fact is that it is very rare for women to bulk up from a few 40 minute sessions in the gym each week. The strength we build is on the interior of the muscle. If bulking up is really a problem for you, you can totally avoid it by doing high reps, low weight. 
Failure to weight train can result in dangerous muscular imbalances. I believe that working the hip abductors can prevent ITB syndrome. A simple exercise you can do is lay on your side and simply lift the upper leg. Repeat 30 times for 3 sets. If this is too easy strap on a weight or a can of soup. Don't forget to work the inner thigh as well.
And if you're dying for big muscles to prove that you've been working hard, here's something you can try.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Speedy Gonzales
In my opinion, you can never get enough speedwork. It seems everyone now understands the value of speedwork. But what most people forget is FORCE. Force is what separates the fast from the sonic. I'll share with you my favorite force workout.
First you need an old tire. No, not a tire from your bike. A tire from a car. I have found some good ones on the side of the highway. The second thing you need is a rope about 15 feet long. If you really want to get fancy you'll also obtain one of those belts that weightlifters wear to support their backs. Now you put it all together. Take your tire and rope out to a long steep hill. After a 20 minute warm up, tie the rope around the tire and wrap the other end around your waist. The tire should lay flat on the ground a few feet behind you. Now run up the hill as fast as you can. Do as many repeats as you can manage (I do 10).
You + tire + hill = your fastest season yet.
First you need an old tire. No, not a tire from your bike. A tire from a car. I have found some good ones on the side of the highway. The second thing you need is a rope about 15 feet long. If you really want to get fancy you'll also obtain one of those belts that weightlifters wear to support their backs. Now you put it all together. Take your tire and rope out to a long steep hill. After a 20 minute warm up, tie the rope around the tire and wrap the other end around your waist. The tire should lay flat on the ground a few feet behind you. Now run up the hill as fast as you can. Do as many repeats as you can manage (I do 10).
You + tire + hill = your fastest season yet.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Sweep the Leg
This afternoon my darling B. was gazing at the shelf devoted to my trophies in our living room.
"You know who you are?" he asked me as he massaged my legs.
"Who?" I asked, expecting him to tell me that I was his angel.
"You're like Cobra Kai."
"From Karate Kid? The evil dojo?" This wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
"Yes," he explained. "You walk into the dojo and there are trophies everywhere. They dominate the competition. No one can beat them. They're tougher than anyone."
I started to like what he was saying. I even kind of look like a female version of Johnny, the star of Cobra Kai. And you know what? I may even be willing to sweep a leg once in a while. Not that I would ever cheat. But there are ways to psyche out the competition:
- Wear fierce sunglasses
- Casually mention how many hill repeats you did earlier
- Yawn as you pass your nemesis going up hill
- Say to your competitor "Man, it's hot out here"
- Never ever breathe heavily as you pass someone (I almost never have to anyway)
As soon as I see a coach as good as Mr. Miyagi, I'll start looking behind my back for Ralph Macchio on a bike. Until then, I'll strike first, strike hard, NO MERCY!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Any club that would want me as a member...
Over the last couple of years I've noticed an epidemic in triathlon: the team. Triathlon is an individual sport. And yet all of these newbies who want "accomplishments" insist on banding together into teams and clubs. They do this because they can't succeed on their own. Alone they are losers (because anyone who doesn't win is automatically a loser). But as a group they think they are more than just a bunch of losers because they have matching jerseys and discounts at the LBS. In my opinion 15 losers are 15 losers who would probably do better under the mentorship of a winner. Occasionally a winner will join one of these teams - probably because of peer pressure, sometimes a winner doesn't want to be the only triathlete in a small community not on the team for fear of snobbishness. That's pure weakness.
Yes, I have been pressured to join my local club. How they would love to have me! But because I am strong I go the course alone. I don't care what those effing losers think of me. And as for jerseys, yes some teams have cute ones and some have ugly ones. That's why I am making my own jersey. For my team of one. But I need a team name. Any suggestions?
Yes, I have been pressured to join my local club. How they would love to have me! But because I am strong I go the course alone. I don't care what those effing losers think of me. And as for jerseys, yes some teams have cute ones and some have ugly ones. That's why I am making my own jersey. For my team of one. But I need a team name. Any suggestions?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Frenemies
This morning I was doing easy 7:10s around Prospect, just enjoying the moist air that felt as if it would turn to pure liquid at any moment, breezing past the usual cast of characters (the moms out for an early jog without baby, struggling to lose those last 10 lbs, the weird speedwalkers, the guy with the beard) and who passes me but her. L. My nemesis.
"Hey T! Long time no see!" She called, smiling and pretending to sound like we were friends.
"Pleasant day, L." I said curtly in response, making sure that it was clear from my voice that I was not breathing hard.
L. wasn't always my nemesis. There was a time when I was her mentor. I considered us friends. She clearly didn't see it that way. Now that I have that 20/20 hindsight, I realize that she was using me all along. Pretending to be my training partner so that she could steal my secrets. I showed her my favorite hills - hills you never see anyone else doing repeats on. I even taught her my top secret chamois cream formula when her crotch was raw from only 3 hours of riding. And how did she repay me? The way a pimp repays a ho - with a slap and a wad of crack. OK, I made up the part about crack (unless you count the time when her bike shorts were so worn through you could see her ass, but that's another story).
Because of L., I learned my lesson. Thank you L., for teaching me never to trust anyone but myself (and of course, Supersoulmate B.).
But today was my day to teach L. another lesson. One she had obviously forgotten.
As L. ran by me I realized I had a few options. I could accelerate handily now and put her out of her misery. I could continue running my slow, easy pace (not really an option - DUH!). Or I could track her like the lion tracks an innocent woodland creature (only in this scenario, L. isn't exactly innocent, more like a wolf or a boar, but I'm not sure lions eat wolves or pigs).
I let L. get about 40 yards in front of me and then I never let her go, yet I never passed her. You see, we still had a mile until THE HILL. There is only one hill in Prospect, and it will cripple the weak. Finally we came to the hill. It was time to work my magic. So I accelerated, closing the gap by 20 yards, now I was just 10 yards in front of her. Time to strike!
I took a big breathe of air and zoomed past her, making an "Hmph" sound as I went by, as if to say "You didn't really think you'd beat me, did you?" L. tried to keep up. I could tell. But there's no way L. can hold a 6;30 pace going uphill. I never taught her how. As much as I wanted to look back I didn't. That would admit to her that I cared about her. And I don't. Well, I care only about her as much as a lion cares about its next meal. She is my competition, and I thrive on competition.
ROAR!
"Hey T! Long time no see!" She called, smiling and pretending to sound like we were friends.
"Pleasant day, L." I said curtly in response, making sure that it was clear from my voice that I was not breathing hard.
L. wasn't always my nemesis. There was a time when I was her mentor. I considered us friends. She clearly didn't see it that way. Now that I have that 20/20 hindsight, I realize that she was using me all along. Pretending to be my training partner so that she could steal my secrets. I showed her my favorite hills - hills you never see anyone else doing repeats on. I even taught her my top secret chamois cream formula when her crotch was raw from only 3 hours of riding. And how did she repay me? The way a pimp repays a ho - with a slap and a wad of crack. OK, I made up the part about crack (unless you count the time when her bike shorts were so worn through you could see her ass, but that's another story).
Because of L., I learned my lesson. Thank you L., for teaching me never to trust anyone but myself (and of course, Supersoulmate B.).
But today was my day to teach L. another lesson. One she had obviously forgotten.
As L. ran by me I realized I had a few options. I could accelerate handily now and put her out of her misery. I could continue running my slow, easy pace (not really an option - DUH!). Or I could track her like the lion tracks an innocent woodland creature (only in this scenario, L. isn't exactly innocent, more like a wolf or a boar, but I'm not sure lions eat wolves or pigs).
I let L. get about 40 yards in front of me and then I never let her go, yet I never passed her. You see, we still had a mile until THE HILL. There is only one hill in Prospect, and it will cripple the weak. Finally we came to the hill. It was time to work my magic. So I accelerated, closing the gap by 20 yards, now I was just 10 yards in front of her. Time to strike!
I took a big breathe of air and zoomed past her, making an "Hmph" sound as I went by, as if to say "You didn't really think you'd beat me, did you?" L. tried to keep up. I could tell. But there's no way L. can hold a 6;30 pace going uphill. I never taught her how. As much as I wanted to look back I didn't. That would admit to her that I cared about her. And I don't. Well, I care only about her as much as a lion cares about its next meal. She is my competition, and I thrive on competition.
ROAR!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Duathlon: When Two is Less than One
A few weeks ago I signed up for a duathlon. I was very resistant to doing it, but Supersoulmate B. convinced me because the race was close to home. See, I don't normally "du" dus. Why do two sports when you can do three? Duathlons are populated by people who refuse to devote time to swim training (some duathletes CAN'T EVEN SWIM!). Sure I'd be a better runner if I could spend half my time run training. But I have a higher calling. Triathlon is a more pure, more complicated sport. Of all three disciplines in a tri, swimming requires more than brute force - it requires technique. That's why I don't like duathlons - being surrounded by so many people who have no form, no technique, just brute force. It's not inspiring.
I only came in second in this particular du. Not surprising since the winner isn't known for her prowess as a triathlete. In a tri I would kick her butt back to Weehawken or wherever she comes from. Plus, as I've noted before, I dropped my sunglasses in transition. And, I didn't taper at all for this race, so I had done one of my typical hard workouts the day before. I bet the "winner" rested on Saturday. Well, we'll see how she stacks up against me when I'm primed and tapered. Even in a duathlon (if I ever lower myself to do one again) she won't come within 5 minutes of me.
See you in the next triathlon.
I only came in second in this particular du. Not surprising since the winner isn't known for her prowess as a triathlete. In a tri I would kick her butt back to Weehawken or wherever she comes from. Plus, as I've noted before, I dropped my sunglasses in transition. And, I didn't taper at all for this race, so I had done one of my typical hard workouts the day before. I bet the "winner" rested on Saturday. Well, we'll see how she stacks up against me when I'm primed and tapered. Even in a duathlon (if I ever lower myself to do one again) she won't come within 5 minutes of me.
See you in the next triathlon.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
That's what I said, fatty!
Sorry to keep you waiting for today's post. But I've got an effing job to hold down - that with 20 some odd hours of training a week means that I don't have much spare time to post. See, I'm not like you, some fatass surfing the "net" all day while you pretend to work, all the while new dimples form on your thighs. Well go get another bag of chips and I'll tell you about everything I did today - and I guarandamntee you it DIDN'T involve multiplying fat cells.
Tuesdays are for three-a-days. That's right. Start the week out with a bang. That means I swim in the morning, peeling off 3500 yards one 1:15/100 at a time. Then I shower and eat a Cliff Bar when I get to work. As I said, I work hard and don't play computer solitaire all day. This means lots of walking around (in heels,no less) - another chance to burn off any extra calories I might have accidentally inhaled. I do take a lunch break, but not to eat. I hit the weights HARD. If you want a hard body, you've got to do hard time. I do three sets of 8-12 reps twice a week (more in the "off-season"), head to toe.
I do a few moves you won't see other triathletes doing, but I believe these are key to my success. LISTEN UP! That's right, lick that grease off your fingers and try this next time you go to the gym. What makes open water swimming easier? The ability to site. That's why I lift weights with my neck. A strong neck will also help you hold aero position for hours. One good neck exercise involves doing reps using a neck harness. Most posh gyms don't carry these, so you'll have to buy the harness yourself. You attach a weight to it (I've worked up to 50 lbs, but you should start light, maybe 5 lbs.) and simply lift your head, repeat.
Tuesdays are for three-a-days. That's right. Start the week out with a bang. That means I swim in the morning, peeling off 3500 yards one 1:15/100 at a time. Then I shower and eat a Cliff Bar when I get to work. As I said, I work hard and don't play computer solitaire all day. This means lots of walking around (in heels,no less) - another chance to burn off any extra calories I might have accidentally inhaled. I do take a lunch break, but not to eat. I hit the weights HARD. If you want a hard body, you've got to do hard time. I do three sets of 8-12 reps twice a week (more in the "off-season"), head to toe.
I do a few moves you won't see other triathletes doing, but I believe these are key to my success. LISTEN UP! That's right, lick that grease off your fingers and try this next time you go to the gym. What makes open water swimming easier? The ability to site. That's why I lift weights with my neck. A strong neck will also help you hold aero position for hours. One good neck exercise involves doing reps using a neck harness. Most posh gyms don't carry these, so you'll have to buy the harness yourself. You attach a weight to it (I've worked up to 50 lbs, but you should start light, maybe 5 lbs.) and simply lift your head, repeat.
I was going to fill you in on more details of my day, but it's time for my Tuesday night ride. Just 30 miles - I'll be back in time for my Supersoulmate's Super Special Turkey Meatloaf dinner. (More on the evils of red meat another time.)
Monday, May 7, 2007
Rest Day
Every few weeks I allow myself a rest day to let my muscles rebuild themselves after all the damage I inflict on them. It's not that I'm lazy! This method is recommended by all the best coaches. Many people with less natural ability than I have take a rest day--or even two-- every week. I've found that I don't need to, but as I've noted before, I am genetically gifted.
I do have to admit that I find it hard to rest. What do I do with myself when I get home from work? I have all of this extra time on a rest day that would normally be taken up with running or biking or swimming! My legs feel restless if I sit and watch TV. I try to tidy up my apartment, but since I am pretty neat anyway, there's not much to do. I feel my body turning to blubber if I stay in one place for too long. You'd think after all the years I've been doing triathlon that I would have solved the dilemma of the rest day, but alas! I have not. I guess I'm such a juggernaut, it's hard for me even to stop myself.
I do have to admit that I find it hard to rest. What do I do with myself when I get home from work? I have all of this extra time on a rest day that would normally be taken up with running or biking or swimming! My legs feel restless if I sit and watch TV. I try to tidy up my apartment, but since I am pretty neat anyway, there's not much to do. I feel my body turning to blubber if I stay in one place for too long. You'd think after all the years I've been doing triathlon that I would have solved the dilemma of the rest day, but alas! I have not. I guess I'm such a juggernaut, it's hard for me even to stop myself.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Tough Enough?
This morning my Supersoulmate, B., woke me up with a cup of herb tea. "Here you go, Superlady" -- his nickname for me because he thinks I'm so amazing with all of my athletic endeavors -- "time to wake up!" He knew I'd have a hard time getting up today because I worked so hard in my training yesterday. Isn't he the sweetest? But when I looked at the clock- 8:30! - I realized I'd have no time for Blackberry Mist tea. Today it was time for my triple double brick. An aquathlon of sorts. I would run 7 miles to the beach, swim for an hour, then run home. This was made especially challenging because it was pretty windy this morning and chillier than I had expected. But never mind that - warriors don't get cold!
Threw on my running shoes without socks so that I can develop strong calluses on my feet and save precious seconds in transition. Grabbed my wetsuit and a few gels, and I was out the door. I figured running with my wetsuit would be good practice if I do this race in the fall called S.O.S. in which you swim in all these cold lakes but don't have a transition area between swim and run. After a few miles of awkwardly holding my wetsuit in my right hand I tossed it around my neck like a stole and ran much easier. When I arrived at the beach (in less than an hour, natch) I was nicely warmed up for the cold water.
A lot of people are afraid to swim in the ocean when it's cold. Effing wimps! Even with a wetsuit, lots of people won't swim until June, when water temps reach the upper 50s. Right now the temp is somewhere around 53. Pretty cold, but good training for a big race I'm competing in soon that is famous for its cold water swim. What I hadn't counted on was that the wind made a lot of big waves and chop. Rather than look on this as a negative, I decided to view the choppy water as a blessing. Swimming in a washing machine will be good training. Was I ever right. I concentrated on taking nice long, slow strokes and ducking under big waves when they threatened to suffocate me. My hands and feet felt numb after 20 minutes or so, and I had an ice cream headache for a while. But after about 45 minutes the numbness in my hands didn't bother me and I ended up swimming a few miles. Yeah baby!
When I got out my hands and feet were purple. This made putting on my running shoes difficult, so I decided to run a few miles barefoot in my wetsuit - this was great training for the NYC tri, which happens in July. I clocked sub-8 minute miles while wearing my wetsuit. The one great thing about running with numb feet is that all the gravel and junk on the sidewalk don't bother you at all! I just plowed right over so much garbage without feeling a thing. Barefoot running is also really good for strengthening your feet and practicing your running form. After a while I got tired of holding my shoes and finished my run like a normal person.
When I got home, Supersoulmate B. had prepared a healthy post-training breakfast: steelcut oatmeal made with 3 raw eggs (for extra protein) and 6 ounces of acai juice. And of course, a steaming hot cup of Blackberry Mist tea.
Threw on my running shoes without socks so that I can develop strong calluses on my feet and save precious seconds in transition. Grabbed my wetsuit and a few gels, and I was out the door. I figured running with my wetsuit would be good practice if I do this race in the fall called S.O.S. in which you swim in all these cold lakes but don't have a transition area between swim and run. After a few miles of awkwardly holding my wetsuit in my right hand I tossed it around my neck like a stole and ran much easier. When I arrived at the beach (in less than an hour, natch) I was nicely warmed up for the cold water.
A lot of people are afraid to swim in the ocean when it's cold. Effing wimps! Even with a wetsuit, lots of people won't swim until June, when water temps reach the upper 50s. Right now the temp is somewhere around 53. Pretty cold, but good training for a big race I'm competing in soon that is famous for its cold water swim. What I hadn't counted on was that the wind made a lot of big waves and chop. Rather than look on this as a negative, I decided to view the choppy water as a blessing. Swimming in a washing machine will be good training. Was I ever right. I concentrated on taking nice long, slow strokes and ducking under big waves when they threatened to suffocate me. My hands and feet felt numb after 20 minutes or so, and I had an ice cream headache for a while. But after about 45 minutes the numbness in my hands didn't bother me and I ended up swimming a few miles. Yeah baby!
When I got out my hands and feet were purple. This made putting on my running shoes difficult, so I decided to run a few miles barefoot in my wetsuit - this was great training for the NYC tri, which happens in July. I clocked sub-8 minute miles while wearing my wetsuit. The one great thing about running with numb feet is that all the gravel and junk on the sidewalk don't bother you at all! I just plowed right over so much garbage without feeling a thing. Barefoot running is also really good for strengthening your feet and practicing your running form. After a while I got tired of holding my shoes and finished my run like a normal person.
When I got home, Supersoulmate B. had prepared a healthy post-training breakfast: steelcut oatmeal made with 3 raw eggs (for extra protein) and 6 ounces of acai juice. And of course, a steaming hot cup of Blackberry Mist tea.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Great Training Day
Thought it might help all of you wannabes out there to get some insights into my excellent training methods. See, I'm not worried about you catching me, even if you do follow my plan, because that just won't happen. In addition to having an unnaturally high V02Max (genetics! What can I say?), I train harder, longer, and tougher than just about anyone you'll ever meet. If you can keep up with me, you deserve to beat me.
Today was a typical training day for me. I started out with a medium-long ride (95 miles) on my trusty tri bike. As I pulled out from my apartment into the bike lane I noticed a Mexican guy (I feel so bad for the less fortunate! That's why I always tip the delivery boy an extra dollar.) riding on a department store mountain bike. He wore a baseball cap under his bike helmet. He was only riding like 12 mph. I smoked that loser! And yes, I pushed him as I passed him, but I called out "On your left!" If you can't keep up with me, maybe you should consider whether you deserve to share the road with me. At about mile 50 I hit a section of tough hills. Now, I had been averaging 23 mph (just a tempo pace for me!) up until this point, but the annoying thing about hills is that they slow down even Lance Armstrong. Plus, yesterday I did a hard 15 mile run with hill repeats, so my legs were a little tired. But I reminded myself of my mantra as I ascended, saying to myself "I AM A WARRIOR! I AM A WARRIOR!" And this method totally worked. I shredded those hills. They were begging for mercy. "Please, Trigal! Go easy on us! What did we do to you?" But I had no mercy because I AM A WARRIOR. That's what it takes to win.
Did I mention how often I win things? Last week I came on second overall in a local sprint distance duathlon. It's just a duathlon, so it doesn't really count in terms of my USAT rankings, but it's still fun to cream the competition - show them what they have to fear (and they MUST fear me). I would have came in first place but I dropped my sunglasses on T1 so picking them up that slowed me down by a few seconds. In bigger races I usually win my age group. In addition, pretty much once a year I win the Employee of the Month award at my job. And last December I won the 5 Years of Excellent Services award at my job. Oh yeah, you DO fear me!
Can you ride 95 miles with hills? Can you go fast, and not in a pack which is cheating? If you can, let me know and maybe we can ride together. Think you can handle it?
FEAR ME!
Today was a typical training day for me. I started out with a medium-long ride (95 miles) on my trusty tri bike. As I pulled out from my apartment into the bike lane I noticed a Mexican guy (I feel so bad for the less fortunate! That's why I always tip the delivery boy an extra dollar.) riding on a department store mountain bike. He wore a baseball cap under his bike helmet. He was only riding like 12 mph. I smoked that loser! And yes, I pushed him as I passed him, but I called out "On your left!" If you can't keep up with me, maybe you should consider whether you deserve to share the road with me. At about mile 50 I hit a section of tough hills. Now, I had been averaging 23 mph (just a tempo pace for me!) up until this point, but the annoying thing about hills is that they slow down even Lance Armstrong. Plus, yesterday I did a hard 15 mile run with hill repeats, so my legs were a little tired. But I reminded myself of my mantra as I ascended, saying to myself "I AM A WARRIOR! I AM A WARRIOR!" And this method totally worked. I shredded those hills. They were begging for mercy. "Please, Trigal! Go easy on us! What did we do to you?" But I had no mercy because I AM A WARRIOR. That's what it takes to win.
Did I mention how often I win things? Last week I came on second overall in a local sprint distance duathlon. It's just a duathlon, so it doesn't really count in terms of my USAT rankings, but it's still fun to cream the competition - show them what they have to fear (and they MUST fear me). I would have came in first place but I dropped my sunglasses on T1 so picking them up that slowed me down by a few seconds. In bigger races I usually win my age group. In addition, pretty much once a year I win the Employee of the Month award at my job. And last December I won the 5 Years of Excellent Services award at my job. Oh yeah, you DO fear me!
Can you ride 95 miles with hills? Can you go fast, and not in a pack which is cheating? If you can, let me know and maybe we can ride together. Think you can handle it?
FEAR ME!
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